


Oh Well, Oh Well

by americanchemicals



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Demon Ryan Bergara, Demon Shane Madej, Established Relationship, Exorcisms, M/M, Protective Shane Madej, but they don't know that the other is a demon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-13 18:00:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12989481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/americanchemicals/pseuds/americanchemicals
Summary: Shane was just a typical demon, adventuring with his boyfriend through different haunted locations. Little did his boyfriend know, but he was there to make sure that nothing sinister hurt his human.Ryan was just a regular demon, travelling to different haunted locations with his boyfriend for videos. Little did his partner know, but he was also making sure nothing hurt his tall partner.





	Oh Well, Oh Well

**Author's Note:**

> based on some posts by ghostwheeze on tumblr

During the exorcism video, Shane was about ready to die from laughter. It was truly awful having to keep it all in, with how serious the priest was taking this whole thing. But he couldn't help it, he wasn't even performing a proper exorcism. First of all, exorcisms aren't ever in English. Second of all, you need to be approved by the Vatican to be going around as a "exorcist" and this dude most definitely did not have those credentials. 

That, and the woman the exorcism was being performed on wasn't even possessed? Now, Shane, how would you know this? Well, because he's a demon, obviously.

Containing his laughter, he observed watching Ryan's tense behavior. The poor human smelled terrified, his posture tight and eyes wide. Once the priest moved on from Bekki to them, Shane heard Ryan's breath hitch with nervousness. He didn't really see why he was so nervous, if this exorcist was the real deal and managed to 'expel' any demon that possessed Ryan, then he would be safe. Really, there wasn't any metaphorical threat, because once they established that no demon was coming out of Bekki anytime soon, there would be no ricochet of a spirit bouncing into Ryan. Unless Ryan believed that Shane was possessed and that the demon would come out of him and possess Ryan.

Another incorrect fact on the priest's behalf. In a proper exorcism, a devil's trap would be drawn around whoever the demon was possessing so that the evil spirit would be immediately expelled to hell. Seriously, Brother Carlos was such a joke that it shouldn't even be funny at this point. Where had the producers even found this guy? Craigslist?

Once the shoot was over, the pair said their goodbyes and happily went on their way. Ryan was visibly much calmer as Shane drove him back to their apartment, and didn't say anything as they fell into their nighttime routine. Going to bed, they kissed goodnight, and the shorter man quickly fell asleep. 

It was a lot harder for Shane to fall asleep, he was an old spirit after all, and there was always so much on his mind that it was harder to get his brain to shut up. He also didn't really need a significant amount of sleep anyways, so that was fine by him. Laying in bed with Ryan's body next to him was as good as getting a good night's sleep, the warmth radiating off the small body a comforting presence. Eventually, Shane dozed off, but was abruptly startled awake by Ryan shaking his arm.

"What?" he groaned groggily, and Ryan simply chuckled in response.

"We have a flight to catch soon, remember?" 

Shane opened his eyes, seeing that it was still fairly early in the morning, as Ryan went to shower. Taking in his surroundings, Shane noticed that his bags had been packed for him and were sitting at the foot of the bed. Ryan had probably gotten up a long time ago and packed his bags for him, letting him squeeze in a bit more sleep. The human was honestly too kind sometimes. 

Opting to skip the shower, Shane ate a bowl of cereal, relishing in the mundane activity. Things like doing the dishes, going for walks, and eating bowls of cereal made him feel like it was the closest thing to human he would ever get again. When he had been human, cereal hadn't existed, so it didn't really remind him of when he was human, but it's the thought that counts. Besides, he had been human so long ago that there wasn't really much that could remind Shane of when he hadn't been a demon.

Going to the airport and boarding the plane were highly uneventful, the only thing worth noting is that once they were seated Ryan fell asleep instantaneously and rested his head on Shane's shoulder. That was really the only thing that Shane considered significant that happened that morning. 

Other members of the crew were also on the flight, but were seated a few rows behind them. Once they landed they regrouped, walking together to baggage claim and then piling into a rental car to drive to their hotel. Ironically, their hotel was also the haunted location that they were supposed to be investigating. Two birds with one stone, and all of that. 

Shane would've been fine if it had been just a regular, run-of-the-mill haunted hotel, but this was the demon case of the season. It always put him on edge to visit places with demonic energy, because it meant that he had to be on high alert to make sure that nothing posed a threat to Ryan. Humans were extremely weak, and it was so easy to just break their frail necks with a snap of a finger. It was a shame, in Shane's opinion, that their bodies were so fragile, because their minds were capable of such amazing things. He had even grown to love one, despite it being highly against the demon's code of morale. Part of him hated himself so much for falling for those deep brown eyes and warm smile, but he hadn't been able to resist, even if he was one of the more powerful demons of Hell. 

Ryan's body would eventually age, betraying his mind. He would get sick, his memories eventually slipping away from him too, and would be nothing but a shell until his last breath left his corpse. And then Shane would be alone for the rest of eternity, going back to the loneliness that was his existence.

When Ryan had entered his life, it was like a ray of sunshine personified, bringing excitement and happiness back into Shane's life. Shane wasn't sure what he was going to do once he wasn't apart of it anymore.

"What's with the sulking? Eat some bad hot dogs again?" Ryan poked Shane's side, snapping him out of his angsty thoughts.

"Thankfully, no. Just a lil' tired is all," he replied. They had finally arrived at the hotel, and someone from the crew had gone to check-in. 

-

"We're going to rest for the night, and we'll start filming tomorrow, then leave the day after. The password for the WiFi's on the bedside table, and we shouldn't touch anything in the fridge because the prices are completely outrageous," Ryan said as they got settled. Plopping down on their shared bed, Shane watched as Ryan methodically unpacked equipment. 

"You don't look like you're resting," Shane quipped, and the shorter man paused in his tracks to look at him, "come to bed, you can do all that tomorrow."

"It's not even that late, why would I come to bed?" Ryan protested, but came to lay next to him on top of the duvet. 

"I can think of a few things," he said with a wink, leaning in for a kiss. It quickly became heated, and Shane moved on top of the man, moving to kiss down his neck. A loud sound suddenly came from by the window, but Shane continued with his ministrations.

"Shane, stop," Ryan protested, moving his hands to Shane's chest to push the man off of him. He groaned, rolling off of the smaller man, bringing his hand up to rub his temples.

"Seriously? It's an old hotel, it's going to make noises," Shane whined, but Ryan had moved up off the bed to go investigate. 

"Shut up."

"Ryan, please, just come back-" Shane started, but was interrupted by the sound of loud banging on the door. Ryan jumped, but somehow didn't let out a yelp, remaining frozen in place as he started at the door.

"Really?" Shane complained, getting up to answer it. Opening the door, expecting a hotel staff member or someone from their crew, the last thing he anticipated was being thrown backwards by an invisible force. Suddenly, a woman strolled into the room, the door slamming behind her. Her eyes were entirely black, Shane groaned again. Seriously? This demon had some fucking nerve storming in here while he was trying to have some sexy times with his man. 

Ready to throw everything to the wind, Shane wasn't expecting for a growl to come from behind him.

"Get away from him." 

He turned his head to look at the source, eyes growing wide when he realized that it was Ryan, eyes mirroring the female demon's. Since when was Ryan a demon, too? How had Shane overlooked this?

"I knew there was a fellow demon present," the woman spoke, voice grim, "I do hope you know that this is claimed territory."

"We just came here to visit for a few days, and then we were going to leave, but now, you've pissed us off," Shane said, slowly getting up and flashing his eyes at her. He knew Ryan saw it happen, but thankfully he didn't voice his reaction and played along with it.

"T-there are two of you." The woman now had an air of nervousness, and backed towards the doorway. Wanting this to just be over with so that he could yell at Ryan, he snarled, snapping his fingers. Within an instant, she became a cloud of smoke, vanishing.

"What the hell did you do to her?" Ryan squeaked from behind him.

"I banished her. Have you never seen that before?" Shane turned, slowly walking towards him. 

"I-I've only been like this for a few years, so no, I have not 'seen that before,'" Ryan replied quietly.

"You're such an idiot."

"Why am I the idiot? How long have you been a demon?" the black-haired man protested.

"For hundreds of years. You're the idiot because how could you not sense my demonic energy?!"

"How come you couldn't sense my demonic energy?!"

"Because you're a lesser demon! I just assumed that the dark energy you gave off was from me constantly being around you!" the brunet answered.

"I can't believe we haven't figured this out until now," Ryan grumbled, no longer yelling.

"I'm surprised you haven't used yourself being a demon as proof that ghosts 'n' shit are real," Shane laughed.

"I didn't want exorcists coming to kill me," the other man wheezed.

"Like Brother Carlos? Dude, that wasn't even a real exorcist! Is that why you were so tense, you were afraid he was going to expel you from your vessel?" he wheezed back.

"What do you mean he wasn't a real exorcist?"

"The real deal is said in Latin, not English. Also, why are you always so spooked at locations if you're a demon?" Shane couldn't stop smiling, finding this whole thing quite entertaining. 

"Because what if I encounter something more powerful than me!" 

"Honey, you've been encountering something more powerful for much longer," Shane teased, pulling the smaller man into a hug, "and I would never let anything hurt you."

"You're so lucky that I'm not human. Human me would've lost his shit," Ryan mumbled into his shirt.

"You're so lucky you haven't burned yourself yet with that holy water you carry around. Do you seriously think that holy water is going to protect you against a demon more powerful than yourself?"

"Just shut up and kiss me already," Ryan groaned.

And so he did. 


End file.
